Why I Am Emotionally and Sexually Fulfilled By Sexually Violent Beings

"To the victor goes the spoils."

I yield to the superiority of the strong, powerful, virile and violent.

I've seen the standard dom/sub, master/slave, sadist/masochist pledges. I find them to be unsuitable for my belief system. They're a compromise to where the dominant abdicates total power to what should be an unquestioning obedience by the submissive. I don't have to love someone that owns me. I just have to submit to them. I can't expect for them to take care of me. They're to use me. To truly be dominated means never having a say in the matter and never expecting anything in return. They can define things how they will, but I am about Nature's way and Nature does not give you a say in the matter.

As an Omicron Masochist I pledge that my role in life is not to lead, but to serve. I embrace the physical and emotional abuses dominant beings wage on me up to and including rape. I seek nothing in return. My guiding principle is my full submission to the sexually violent, who may do with me as they will. I embrace the motto "To the victor goes the spoils."

This is only a pledge to myself. Anyone that truly dominates me, takes me. They don't ask for promises. 


The Chinese symbols for ruling, domination, potency, mastery, supremacy, strength, overlord. power, control.


The Chinese symbol for obedience, obeisance, subjection, submission, yield, comply, defer, obey, submit.

Of Rape, Domination, Acceptance, and Compliance

Raped at 15

I sometimes buy a little weed to get high on. I got referred to a new source that lived near me and that I could walk to. Being 15 I didn't have a car.

To cut to the chase, I ended up going upstairs with this scary looking giant of a man to get the dope. However, as soon as we entered, he locked the door and began grabbing my ass.

Frank didn’t tie me up. He didn’t gag me. He didn’t have a weapon. He held me captive by being physically and emotionally intimidating

He wouldn't stop groping my ass after I told him to stop. I tried moving to the door, but he blocked me. I threatened to scream.

“Scream all you want. They’re used to hearing that shit come out of my room.”

I believed him, but still screamed out for someone to help me. He punched me on the side of the head and all I saw was black and bursts of lights. I had almost fallen to the floor, but he’d grabbed me and slapped me across my mouth. Then he punched me in the eye.

That time I did fall all the way to the floor.

Frank took all his clothes off. He was covered in rolls of muscle and fat, black hair, and tattoos. He was the size of a bear. I saw a few tats I knew from watching Lock Up were associated with the prison gang Aryan Brotherhood.    

He stood over me so big, so mean looking, so dangerous. I was so intimidated that I went and laid face down on the bed – fully clothed – for the inevitable intrusion that I knew I was too weak and helpless to stop. I didn’t just sit on the bed or lay on it. I immediately laid face down. I don’t know why. I knew I was going to be raped, but still.

As my pleas had fallen on deaf ears with Frank, my mind began bargaining with me: I would take the rape, but I could survive it. I knew that in my heart. If I kept resisting, I’d be hurt more. Let him do it and get it over with. It wasn’t like anal sex was new to me. My great-uncle and his partner had been fucking me for two years. Just relax. Relax. Just let him do it. It won’t last long. You enjoy it when Unca does it too you. Just imagine it’s him.  

Well, I didn’t ever relax and the rape lasted an eternity and never once did Unca enter my head. 

“You nasty bitch. You peed on yourself” Frank said, as he straddled me and started tugging my pants and underwear down. I laid there unmoving. He laid his naked body over mind crushing me with his hugeness. I felt his hands clutch my neck, but mostly I felt his hot breath on my neck and the back of my head.

Frank took one of his hands from around my throat and spit in it. He reached down and rubbed his member with the saliva. That was all the lube I was going to get. 

As Frank raped me from behind while he laid on top of me, he bit into my neck and shoulders through my t-shirt at times breaking the skin, grunting each time. 

I just laid there biting my broken lip, crying, and enduring the horrible pain.

After Frank orgasmed, he rolled off me and grabbed for his dope sack. I kept lying there too scared to move…until he ordered me to suck on his cock. I crawled between his legs and fellated him, while sobbing internally the whole time. I was so repulsed.

Except for twice grabbing the back of my head and pushing me down to his pubes, he did nothing but smoke, while I serviced him and choked down my bile and vomit.  

After what seemed like an hour, he grabbed the top of my hair and pulled me up then threw me on my stomach where he again anally sodomized me.   

Once he came in me for the second time that night, he got off me and stood beside the bed reaching for his clothes. “Go.” Was all he said. An unemotional, unattached “Go.” 

He didn’t threaten me. He didn’t tell me not to go to my parents or the police. He just said “Go.”

Except for my pants and underwear hanging around my ankles, I was still dressed. I pulled them up to my waist and quickly left the bedroom. Standing in the hallway fastening my pants, I could only see out of my left eye, as the right one was swollen shut. My neck felt bruised and my throat raw. My lip was busted and cracked, but didn’t feel to be bleeding anymore. I could feel blood and Frank’s semen collected between my butt cheeks and running down the insides of my legs. My rectum was throbbing, but was a bit numb. Later, when the numbness went away, I’d be in agony.

I limped down the stairs, as every step I took hurt me horribly. It was 4:22 AM. Nearly three hours. Frank had taken his time raping me. Most had left or gone to sleep. Managing to work my way out with no problem, I vomited all over the front steps.

I smelled like him. The inside of my mouth tasted like him. It would be something that took weeks to go away, but seems to always be there lurking and surprising me with sudden sensations of his presence.  

Absolving My Rapist

I didn’t tell my parents or the police about my sexual assault. Most don’t. I was no different. I lied about my face wounds and said I’d gotten into a fight. I had tears in my rectum that weren’t major and would heal on their own without me needing a doctor. Believe me, it was not at all pleasant. 

I tried to forget about what happened. However, by constantly concentrating every second trying to not remember the rape I was in fact obsessed with my sexual assault. 

When my mind recalled that night, I would get an erection. Damn, I fought those feelings like crazy. I didn’t start jerking off to it. But I thought about what it meant and why my body was reacting to it. There was something so primal and so of nature about my taking that I was finding myself aching for Frank’s cock to be back inside me. I felt…empty. And dirty. 

I found my answers, not in psychology, but in evolution and reproduction. Nature’s order. Being Pangender I have feminine qualities of submission and the desire to reproduce with the strongest seed I can find. Frank was my Alpha. He had mated me. His superiority over me gave him that right. He was acting on the nature that evolution had bestowed on him and taken his mate aggressively to show dominance and ensure his semen was continuing his superior bloodline. 

The thought of Frank’s masculine virility was arousing me. His scent remained on me from when he rubbed his body on me and used his mouth to taste me. My nature – the one that drives me to look for the seed that will produce the best offspring – needed my rapist and was evolving me into desiring more sex with him. It was breaking down my mental blocks and replacing them with instinctual drives.

The violent ex-con had owned me and had intimidated me into sexual submission. I was his property and needed to accept that. 

My rape led me to obtaining a greater understanding of life and the role each of us plays in it. 

I first resisted acknowledging my arousal when remembering the sexual assault, now I will lie in bed and masturbate about Frank violently raping me. Accepting that nature gave him a role and me a role and that the instinct in him drove him to seed me was rather healing. I wasn’t a victim, I was the mate chosen to take his seed. Now I relive that night not as a horror story, but as the most arousing and erotic night of my life.

It sounds crazy, but on looking back on it, I was the most alive I’ve ever been during the rape. I was in the circle of life. I smelled everything…in fact I’m smelling my rapist as I type this and it’s giving me an erection and made my ass long for him. I’m longing to be beneath Frank again.

The rape didn’t end up being a tragedy for me. What it did was awaken me to the reason for my existence. I’d been turned on by zoo long before the rape and was heading down the mating path. This, however, was enlightening. I consider what he did to me that night a holy union. 

A man seeding an adolescent boy and showing him his place in the hierarchy of the group. A dominant taking his due and spreading his DNA. When I began truly understanding what motivated the rape, I found I no longer hated the man, but adored him instead. By raping me, he was being true to his position of authority, and now I find that extremely attractive in him. 

Alpha Frank isn’t gay. He raped weaker men in prison and is continuing that practice outside the walls. Basically, I’ve become his cell bitch. 

The only thing he hasn’t done is force me into punking. I’m not a prostitute by heart. You take this, you don’t pay for it. Yet, if he ever ordered me to do the kiddie stroll, I would comply.

[Note: This has now changed. Effective January 2018 Alpha Frank has become my pimp and now rents me out to other men. Also, we are partnered in running our own stable of teen sex workers which I recruit and he pimps. You can book me and the other teens at Hustle.]

Oh, I guess I should back up and explain something.

I am Frank’s side bitch now. We’ve had sex many times since the night he raped me two years ago. Once I had gotten an understanding of what happened and each of our roles in that, I returned to him.

I went back to the house about two months after my rape. Frank answered the door and motioned to the stairs with his head. I started going upstairs to the bedroom. There were no words exchanged. He knew I had come to terms with my place in life and that I had accepted being his bitch. I would be available to take his seed, whenever he wanted to give it to me. 

I don’t give myself to him every night. I’m hardly his only bitch. Men like that aren’t real monogamous and I don’t expect him to be. I have other sexual partners too. However, when he calls, I go.

He’s my Alpha Frank now. I don’t love him, but I do adore him. Love and adoration are two different things. I give veneration to his superiority over me and respect his mastery of me. I rejoice that he gives me his superior seed.  That’s extremely emotionally and sexually fulfilling for me.   


When he raped me, he took ownership of me. He made me his bitch, as was his right as an Alpha. I understood that and got okay with it. Until he no longer wants me or someone bigger and stronger comes along and takes me from him, I am going to service his carnal needs whenever he wants. 

Accepting that I'm his chattel has been liberating. 

Rape Fantasies

I now find the fantasy of being forced into sex or it being a consequence of being the weaker combatant intoxicating. I like the idea of resistance and then giving total surrender to a predator or challenger. I have no shame or guilt about it. To my victor goes the spoils.

I also enjoy the esteem of being desired by a strong male and them wanting me as a possession. If they’re wanting me so bad that they’re willing to take me by force, then that ups their attractiveness to me. 

I’m saying that you don’t need to have my consent to have sex with me. If you can take me, do so. That doesn’t mean by gunpoint or knifepoint. It means being bigger and stronger and more aggressive than me. Once you get into my ass own it. It’s yours. Use me to get yourself off.   

The most important thing Poohism has taught me is to be true to my nature. To understand that I have an important and EQUAL role in life just like everyone else and not to resist that role, but to embrace it. Thus, if a man tries to take me by force he will be resisted, but, if he’s strong enough, I will abandon myself, stop fighting back, and give him the prize he won. 

My getting an understanding of rape and its role in the world, as well as mine, took me on a primitive but higher level of understanding. Being raped was a blessing, because it brought me personal enlightenment and acceptance of my nature.   

You’ve got to understand that most of us are going to be bitches in life. The alphas will control us. Resisting the natural evolution of that only makes us unhappy.

Once I realized what role nature assigned to me and accepted it, then I found true happiness.  

Yielding to Superiority

Someone has accused me of having Stockholm Syndrome and of falling in love with my rapist as a way of coping with a traumatic experience.

I'm not in love with Alpha Frank. I yield to his superiority over me. That surrender is both physical and emotional. Acceptance and compliance are not love.

Evolution has programmed some people to control and most people to submit. I accept that and do not resist my nature. The Law of Attraction in play here is not physical beauty, but emotional beauty. I was aroused by the rape, because my aggressor is a higher form of being that selected me as an inferior to gratify him and take his seed into my emotional bloodline. 

I do not romanticize the rape either. It was brutal, it was violent, and it badly hurt me. I'm not trying to rescue Alpha Frank and give him a path towards redemption for that would be trying to change his nature...his reason for being. 

I believe Nature's Law of Entry - I coined that. Once Alpha Frank gained entry to me, he gained re-entry rights. He gets to come and go in me as he pleases. I still don't give him consent. He doesn't require consent. I give him compliance. 

Yes, that means without my actual consent he has raped me multiple times now, as is his right. Showing up on his door step and revealing to him that he had mastered me and could do with me as he wanted was not consent either. That was acceptance and giving him his due.

I would rather die than be raped by a someone's subordinate UNLESS the Alpha had ordered my assault. Then both me and the subordinate(s) would just be obeying our superior.

Not all rapists are Alphas. Alphas rape out of power and to spread their superior seed. Weak rapists may just be ceasing an opportunity and take flight immediately afterwards. 

Alpha Frank kept me for nearly three hours. He made me perform oral sex on him. He bred me twice. He took his time.

I understand the difference now. He was never scared. He was arrogant. 

Throughout the entire sexual assault he was self-assured and unashamed. He maintained an erection throughout. Alpha Frank even made sure that I licked up any semen he had on him or that got on clothes or the bed, as if he knew HIS seed was too precious to waste. 

No, he wasn't trying to get rid of the evidence. There was plenty of that inside my ass. He was being a true Alpha. 

Were I ever overpowered by a weak rapist. I would comply but be unfulfilled emotionally about it. I do find both emotional and sexual fulfillment by being raped by Alpha Frank.